Chickie Chickie Rostov

robert:  the super-hottie left sharmel, i tried to call her in rostov but she doesn't pick up

oh well

 me:  she knows what she done

 robert:  it's not like i'm actually going to go down there

 me:  she knows how filthy that slab of meat between her legs is now

 robert:  totally

 me:  yeah I wouldn't eat her out either

 robert:  oh i meant i wouldn't go down to rostov

but that too

 me:  ha ha ha

Red Tide

I don't know why some women won't let you fuck it when it's bleeding. I was thinking of this and I thought "maybe it's because of the red blood our lord and saviour spilt while hanging on the cross on Calvary!" and I had a cataplexy attack, laughing to myself on the inside. I think some Catholics probably really think that way though.

Slavery

I think that the original black slaves were extremely docile, and that violence was reintroduced through interbreeding with whites.  If you look at other kinds of livestock, the number of males is kept at a minimum in the herd so that it can be controlled - this is true of cattle, sheep and chickens.  You don't herd rams and bulls unless you want to run into major trouble.  Men are more murderous than either of these animals, and yet we were able to enslave them (we couldn't do so to the Indians).  Logic would dictate that you would kill or at the very least castrate all of the men - actually castration would make much more sense given the males' value at auction. 

Perverts

I don't think women really understand what the word 'pervert' means, as they tend to apply this term to all men that like pornography and fantasize about 19 year old girls (read: all men).  My friend Sasha Oleskin likes the smell of unwashed pussy - he prefers it if a woman doesn't take a shower for about three days.  Now that's a pervert for you!  Of course, homosexuals are perverts, but you wouldn't call them perverts - you'd be more specific and say they were homosexual.  I'd say that perverts give themselves away by their bizarre fetishes.  The more bizarre, the more perverted.  If I were to go around looking at 17 year old girls and biting my finger, wanting to rip into their flesh (most assuredly officer, I don't) I guess that would make me a pervert.  Wanking doesn't make anyone a pervert.  Designing chastity belts might.

I can't get rid of these eye floaters.  If I believed in God, I'd consider them evidence of his cruelty or apathy.  Luckily I don't.  If I did, though, apathy would seem more likely than cruelty.  I mean - the extinction of the dinosaurs might have been a subject of more than a moment's deliberation in this universe of billions and billions of stars.  Whether or not your dumb ass catches a taxi in time to make it home to watch Boardwalk Empire probably isn't.  

The Walking Dead

Sex with old people (in my case, a 35 year old woman) is fucking disgusting.  At best, 35-year old pussy is like an old, broken-in pair of shoes that you feel comfortable wearing.  Woman that age have a certain stench to them.  Whereas sometimes I just want to wrap 19-year old girls' legs around my face, I have to be extremely drunk to eat an older woman out.  They have a grandmotherly quality to their skin - if you'd never seen a woman in her mid-thirties and was told that she was 18, you would assume that she had a skin disease.  The strangest thing is that they don't KNOW they're sexually irrelevant.  They still demand attention, like a an unwanted stepchild.  They seem unable to recognize that your original feigned physical interest in them was inspired by boredom and pity.  It's such an oddity that it's actually easier to obtain an orgasm by masturbating than by having sex.  This must be what gay people feel like when they see women.  I'm lucky I have a 22-year old backup girlfriend - it's just too bad that she's out of town and is afraid of Moscow. 

American TV

American television seems to reflect a value system that is more or less alien to mine.  For example, there are always token blacks on American TV, and they're never inner-city blacks - when some racist character (who is invariably a white trailer trash southerner with a twangy accent) confronts a black guy about being a dumb nigger, the guy invariably says something like 'well actually I'm an endocrinologist at John's Hopkins' or something to that effect.  Then again, you'll never see main characters that are black in a show designed for a white audience (or at least not in the sci-fi crap that I watch).  You quite often see men marry women with children, like in Dexter.  I'd really have to be desperate to marry a woman with two children - not only desperate but financially capable of supporting a family of four.  If you have that kind of cash, you can probably land yourself an Asian or Latin American university student unless you're hideous, and people on television in America never are hideous, are they? (maybe some of the black ones are - I can't really tell with black people)  You never see gays that are total perverts - they're either campy or what the Presbyterian Church likes to think gays are like - nice, well dressed fellows that are cheerful, good neighbors who duck into their bedrooms with their equally charming friends, out of sight, to have man-on-man anal sex.  They never portray guys that are into 15-17 year old girls that way, and I'm sure they're far more common than gays.  I've been watching Falling Skies - it's exactly like Walking Dead except with aliens instead of zombies.